HelIo, I’m Nic. Married, mum of 4, work full time as a Nanny, one dog, three cats, a guinea pig and also host foreign students. Very busy life, shift-working husband and the house is rather like picadilly circus at rush hour!
I nanny for three families full time in term time, and have a full time holiday family too. Babysit for many different families as well, and decided 2017 was the year to explode my brain onto “paper” <screen>
I’m a ‘big’ girl. If you want to be polite. Most of the time, folk who don’t know me are most definitely NOT polite. I’ve been called allsorts over the last 30+ years, and on the surface it all goes over my head. It doen’t though, of course…words are a harsh way of digging into someone’s heart and soul, and making them die a little inside. I’m not repeating the words here – what’s the point, or the need? Everyone in the world knows that people who are big are seen or perceived to be thick, stupid, unable to control themselves, untrustworthy, and on…
I’m not though. I’m intelligent, clever, tactile, friendly, loving, pedantic, stubborn, a fantastic friend and a brilliant wife <well I think so…> But none of that is seen of course, because the first thing anyone sees is a 5’6″ 22+ stone woman. They don’t look past the size to the person underneath.
So, if I’m all the things I say above, why am I fat? WHY haven’t I got the self control and discipline to “just eat less and move more?”
Newsflash – I HAVE eaten less and moved more. I HAVE done every diet under the sun, from the F-plan in the 80’s to Slimming World/weight watchers/VLCD/Lighter Life/calorie counting. All of them. And yes, I’ve lost weight before. Successfully. Keeping it off – that’s the issue. The second I started to eat anything resembling a normal diet, it all went straight back on. Why? Thyroid/Vit D deficiency/gluten intolerance/B12 deficiency and an underlying auto-immune issue. My body is incapable of having a normal diet and only extracting from that what it needs.
So, I made the hardest decision ever three years ago, and started the process to have a gastric bypass done. It was done on December 21st 2016, on the NHS, and I/we told no one about it beforehand. I didn’t want anyone elses thoughts or opinions putting into my head, because lets face it, I’ve had the last 30 years being told nothing but negativity about me/my body/my size and my weight.
My husband, who has never fully understood the reasons why I have gone down this path, has been nothing but supportive. He wants a wife who can live a life with him that’s happy, energetic, able to travel and walk and swim and thoroughly enjoy ourselves as we head into the years after our children have left home.
I went ‘public’ with the news after I came home on the 23rd, and up to now, people have been lovely – really positive and happy for me.
So, this is the start, in all honesty – it’s the start of the rest of my life…