Wardrobe Fear…

I’m scared of my wardrobe. It stands there, tall and white and menacing at the bottom of the bed, and mocks me daily with its contents that it swallows and shrinks deliberately to make me cry. It hides anything that might just about fit right at the back so that I give up and resort to the few items I have that fit – they get washed, dried, worn without even hitting the drawers and wardrobes usually.

The wardrobe is also a source of great marital strife as my husband has spent years asking me why? Why don’t I look in it? Why do I buy more (shapeless, black, leggings usually) clothing instead of LOOKING IN THE BLOODY WARDROBE! You can’t get anything else in there!!!

Well, yunno, it’s just that, erm, well, I don’t know, erm, because…

So over the last few weeks I have run out of excuses and slowly, a drawer at a time, I’ve started to go through my clothes and be rather honest with whether I like them/will I wear them when they fit/are they loose now? I have a bag for charity and a bag for the weigh and pay and whilst there isn’t a lot in them, I have gone through four drawers.

This morning, after being forced by a friend yesterday to buy a new pair of jeans two sizes smaller because the ones I was wearing were hanging off me, I stood in front of the beast.

Husband immediately said “go on then, lets sort it!” No! Says me and goes to have a shower.

“Come ON!” He says. “You need to go through it. Lets just do some of it.”

So I opened the beast, and there sat the clothes, mocking me and saying “we won’t fit you. You’re faaaarrrrrr toooooooooo fatttttt for us!”

You know what? Half of it is too big and on a pile for Ebay. The other half – which WAS too small – fits or very nearly fits, and is hung back up. I’ve still got a double wardrobe of stuff to go through, but little steps…little steps…

I’m wearing a dress thats 2 sizes smaller than the one I wore yesterday, and it fits and looks good! I feel so strange – the nerves are kicking in about the speed of this transformation – but inside I have a grin a mile wide!

actually, in all honesty – I’m smiling on the outside too!!!


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