January blues…

It’s dark, wet, cold and miserable. I’m out to work at 06:30 every morning, with a huge lie in until a 7:30 set-off on a saturday. I’m struggling to get warm at all despite my (now too big) winter coat. Go to work in the dark, come home in the dark. Yes, exactly the same as the rest of the working world, I know.

Yesterday was my beautiful daughters 15th birthday. I am so, so proud of her. She is growing up into an absolutely amazing young lady – kind, compassionate, funny, brilliant company, intelligent, arty, neat and tidy. I love her. I love ALL of my children, they are amazing human beings. I fear for their future, I worry so much about the way the world will treat them and if they’ll ever find that person who treats them the way they should be treated – with love, kindness, respect, humour. Will my boys and my girl find the right one the first time, or do they have t o go through the pain and heartache of the “wrong” one initially? What about the rest of their life? Will they enjoy their work, have good friends, the confidence to branch out and be alone if thats what they choose to do? Will I see them often enough? (I already know the answer to that is no!! Haha!!!). Will they even stay in the same country as us?

I hope we have instilled in them the self-respect and pride that they can go on and achieve anything they want in life, that they have seen from our example the way a partner/spouse should treat them, and the way they should treat, love and respect other people. I hope they have learned that the only way ahead in life is to work for what they have, that no-one hands you life and goods on a plate, and that happiness doesn’t come from “things”. I hope their independence doesn’t sever the invisible ties they have with “home”, but gives them enough confidence to fly.

We are seeing all the above in our eldest son, who at 25 has his own home with his lovely fiancée, they are marrying in April and we have found wonderful new friends in her parents. We are so proud of all of our children.

Yet the melancholy has hit me. I don’t want my babies to grow up and leave home. The world is not the place it was, I want to keep them safe with us. I want to lock the doors, close the curtains and have a “Faulty Towers” or “Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em” day.

But life goes on. Jobs to do, families to see, children to care for.My job is a strange one. I “look after” children from several different families, and I try and instil in them the same values and behaviours I instill in my own. I treat them the same as my children, I hug them, love them, cuddle them, nurture them, advise and educate. But it is different, it has to be – they aren’t mine. But my hopes for them are exactly the same as my hopes for my children – that they have amazing lives and they are happy.Their parents, too. I hope I make THEIR lives a little easier as they do the same as I do – go to work to invest in their futures.

Life. You only get one, and in all honesty, no matter what the weather, treat it as what it is – the most amazing gift. Live it.

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