Just over seven weeks after the bypass, and I’m doing well. I did have a moment last week when I realised that if I was “employed” by a company rather than self-employed, I’d still be off sick on full pay and considering whether or not to extend my initial sick note, rather than going back to work ten days after major surgery because if I don’t work, I don’t get paid, and five other adults also can’t get to work because their childcare has let them down…the first week I had help from my husband, friend and son, and it’s been fine.
I’ve got more energy, I still have pain on the left where the biggest incision is and they went through muscle – where, to quote the surgeon, they insert the staple gun and do all the work! – visions there of a staedtler office stapler with stainless steel staples that always ping out if you put more than two sheets together haha! I’ve pulled myself twisting to chat to the children in the car, but that will sort itself out.
My knees hurt less, and my feet too – my back aches less, and I’m starting to see a change in shape. On my scales I’m about 3.5-4 stones down in the 7 weeks, which is rather shocking. Clothes are looser and hanging differently, and I refuse to wear anything I don’t like just “because it fits and covers me up”.
But did my life “start” seven weeks ago? Is that the focus point for starting to “live”? I see many posts from people of the bariatric groups about “opiversary ” dates and “life began on X day because of my surgeon”.
No. My life didn’t start then. My life started from my earliest memories, the happy and the sad ones – yes I’ve been huge for over 30 years. Yes I’ve bottled out of doing stuff because of my size, and yes I’ve had abuse because of my size. But I’ve done far more than I haven’t, I’ve far more happy memories than sad ones, and the best days of my life were my children being born, and meeting and marrying my husband. We’ve had some bloody fantastic times over the last 24 years together, and I’m thrilled that the REST of my life started seven weeks ago – and the REST of my life will be far longer in duration now that the weight is coming off.
Don’t write off your past, just because you don’t like some of it. Don’t dwell on what went wrong, celebrate what went right. Happy memories are what you’re wanting, and every day gives you the opportunity to make them.
In all honesty, like everyone, I’m guilty of dwelling on the negative rather than the positive – so perhaps today is the day to find at least one positive thing that’s happened every day and say it out loud…
How about you?