Baggy Trousers… (and knickers!)

No, not the new title of a Madness song. But when I realised earlier that what used to be my “hippy shorts under belly” knickers were now right above the waistband of my (baggy) jeans I realised I might have to actually get rid of them…

Easier aid than done! I did, last night, ruthlessly (for me) go through two drawers and offload a bin liner full to the weigh and pay place, and have a pile of the better quality stuff to list on Ebay this weekend.

But knickers?? Does it really matter if they are big under my jeans? I thought it didn’t until I realised that actually I’m distinctly uncomfortable and they look stupid under the jeans that are falling down because they’re also rather baggy…don’t I sound attractive today!

But actually the knowledge that I’m getting smaller is rather a boost today, as my weight hasn’t changed much in the last ten days or so – an inevitable “stall” as they call it. After panicking yesterday that this is it, I’ve gone through all this to stay a size 18/20, and upsetting myself, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need everything to catch up with itself, my skin needs to shrink (if it can…) and my organs need the time to get over the shock. I’m only ten weeks out from major surgery, and I do think I need to go a bit easier on myself. Just because every day I am focusing on the surgery, the tablets, the vitamins, drinking enough, eating the right stuff, will it go down, will it get stuck, am I smaller now than I was yesterday…other folk really aren’t that interested! Life goes on…

In all honesty, if I don’t look after me, who else will???

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