Whose shadow is that?

Hello. It’s been a bit of a week really. Easter holidays here, so I’ve swopped my term-time little ones for my holiday big ones, and we’ve been doing various days out so the boredom doesn’t kill them.

We do allsorts in the holidays, trampolining, swimming, theme park, lunch out etc. A couple of days ago I went to get petrol before I picked them up, and was stood filling my car when the lady at the next pump looked over. I half recognised her, and smiled. She looked, and said “hello. You’ve lost weight”. Oh, yes, says I. Yes I have. “How?” She asked. So I explained – I’m not ashamed, I don’t mind saying what I’ve done. Some folk won’t agree, that’s fine. But I wasn’t expecting to be told by her that I look haggard, my husband will leave me, I’m lazy, a waste of NHS money.

Now, of course, I can think of LOADS of good responses. Then, all I managed to say before bursting in to tears was “my husband is thrilled. F*@k off” and drove away.

It’s made me curl up and die inside though. Is this what people ARE thinking but too polite to say to me? If you do think that, do us both a favour and delete yourself from my bookface. Delete my number as well. I don’t need “friends” like that.

I’m smaller now than the day I married my husband. He insists he is thrilled with the changes, that he has always wanted me to be healthy. That I’m his, he is mine, and that is that. Doesn’t stop the nightmares though…

So whose shadow is that? We went to Lightwater Valley yesterday, and took 5 children with us. Walking along I saw a shadow on the floor, and could not work out who it belonged to. I followed its legs and realised the shadow connected to my feet.

I didn’t recognise my shadow, yet I see myself as being no different. How does THAT work???

In all honesty, I can’t quite get my brain around it.



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